Recently I have had some things happen in my life that have put things into perspective for me... I have decided to begin to do the best I can to love life and living which at this point is a challenge for me but I have a plan! This is a list of things I am going to do in my life to make my little world a better place to live.
First: Learn to "totally and completely love myself even if I am not well now." That is the mission statement one of my doctors has had me intergrate into my life. I am going to remind myself of that fact on a regular basis and say it out loud at least three times a day.
Second: I am going to stop focusing on the negative and bring in the positive. I am a pesimist at heart, I see the bad in myself, and in others. From today on I am going to do my best to see th beauty in myself and those around me.
Third: I will do what I know is best for me reguardless of what my peers, community, or family say. I love all the people in my life with all my heart but too often I do what I think is best for everyone els rather than what is best for me. Right now I'm focused on healing and being a good person.
Fourth: I am going to begin to take care of myself. I am on medication both perscription and herbal to help me get where I need to be mentally, but I will begin to take care of my physical self immediately. I am doing this to not only have a better body for my career path but because I truly beleive that the way you take care of your own body is a reflection of how much you love yourself, and since that is another one of my goals I am going to love myself from the inside out.
Fifth: I will CALM DOWN! Its easier said than done to be rid of anxiety and depression but the more I keep it a deep dark secret the scarier it seems. I have problems like everyone else but I can't hide that I have them. Letting people know I have some mental problems is a great way for me to CALM DOWN. I will also consistantly remind myself that all decisions are not life and death decisions. I will take my mothers advice and learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
I am not sharing these life changes I intend to make to brag about myself or to get attention in any way. By posting this so my family and friends can see I am committing myself to changing my life for good! I hope to make weekly or monthly updates on how good/bad I am doing with these goals :)
So I'm into my third week here at the Y and I've just been cast in my first show, PIPPIN. I was so excited when I heard a graduate student would be directing my favorite show! Yes I know I've been it before but I couldn't resist auditioning! I auditioned last week and I found out a few days ago that I got cast as KING CHARLEMAGNE. I'm so excited to play this type of character because its something I don't get cast as very often, so I'm so greatful to the director for having enough faith in me! This production of PIPIN is a shortened version and it is not a main stage musical so it performes three times on a thursday afternoon for the theatre students here at BYU. Its on October 22nd at 1, 2, and 4 o'clock. Even though this is a smaller production it is still very competitive so I'm so excited I was given a character! My next audition is for a main stage musical called Casey at the Bat. I audition against hundreds of MDT students here that are very very talented but I'm staying positive! I'm so greatful I've had the opportunity to watch the amazingly talented students here and I can't wait to get to a point when I can join them! I've got a lot of hard work ahead of my but the future looks bright!
OK so on my last post I talked about going to Weber State University... well i'm not anymore! It is a really long story so if you're curious i'd be happy to tell you about it ... but its too long to type! Long story short after a pretty amazing prayer related experience I have decided to switch to Brigham Young University! I am a pre- Music Dance Theatre student and I will audition for the actual program this december! If I make it into the program I hope to spend a year in the program after my mission and possibly a year with the young ambassadors, and eventually transfer to a bigger name school back east to finish my degree. After that the sky is the limit! Now I know it seems a little strange that I made this last second decision but I really feel good about it and I know its the right place for me to be.
My theatre scholarship letter from WEBER STATE!!! woohooo full tuition!!
Senior awards night :) i was awarded a dance award and was recognized for my four scholarship offers ... and sat there while all the really smart kids stole the show haha
Graduation day!! my family was there to support me and so was my awesome cousin nikki and my grandma :)
So today is graduationi day! Although I understand today is really just another transition in life, it feels like a big step. After today my education (and my life) are completely up to me. And by the end of the month I will be an adult!! It seems that whenever I go through a transition in my life I start to look back on all the good times. Well i've done so much of that lately I just want to start looking forward to a bright future. 
This fall I'm moving to the far away land of Ogden Utah and attending Weber State University on a full tuition scholorship studying musical theatre! My life is changin quickly but I don't want to cry and miss the old times. I'm ready for my future, ready for change, and almost ready to be a sort of adult :)
Alright its been a while since a updated my blog so I figured its about time!! Radium Girls closed a little over a week ago and it was hard to see it go. It was my last play at CHS and I am having a hard time accepting it haha. Right now I'm basically wrapping up all my high school work with a dance concert, choir concert, closing socials, tests and all that for a month.
I have accepted a four year full tuition scholarship to Weber State University for musical theatre. I got the scholarship based off of two auditions. I am currently looking for somewhere to live in Ogden and room mates so if anyone can help me please let me know :).
I recently won first place at the senior high school divisioin of the NATS broadway vocal competition. Also the CHS productions class competed at the state level with our one act play The Rules of Comedy and were one of four schools in the state that received a medal. A few days ago I got the opportunity to sing with the Utah Light Opera and the Utah Premier Brass! It was an amazing opportunity to be surrounded by forty people who had gone to college for voice! It was an awesome performance, and it was fun to get to work with professionals in a choir! I am also just starting a new show called State Fair with clearfield city. I am the rehearsal accompanist and I also play Wayne Frake.(thats the farm boy that falls in love with a jazz singer and gets dumped)
So I thought as the school year was coming to an end I would have a little down time... i guess not! But I have been so blessed with amazing opportunities and a great family that supports me even though I'm not around very often :) As for my personal and social life.... well i haven't really had one for the past three years! But even though all the things I do are a big time commitment, I still wouldn't trade what I have learned for anything in the world! I am just so glad that I have my home and family as a constant to keep me from going crazy! (ps go check out my senior pictures on facebook they turned out pretty awesome)
